Storms
by QT Roo
Summary: Alexis' and Sonny's POV on their current situation


Started: June 27, 2002  
Title: Storms  
Author: M.A.G.  
Email: Gypsyroo@aol.com  
Disclaimer: I don't own General Hospital, nor do I own any of the mentioned characters or their portrayers, but I sure as hell wouldn't mind owning Maurice. ;) This is just a piece I wrote for fun. Not getting paid for this, believe me. This fic was partially inspired by a song. I don't own the song or the lyrics to "Outside the Rain" by Stevie Nicks either, although I wish she would adopt me, and that I had a ounce of the talent she has in writing!  
Email: Gypsyroo@aol.com  
Spoilers: Anything up to the June 27,2002 episode  
Notes: BTW, in case you didn't figure it out, first part is Alexis' POV, then the second part after the song lyrics, is Sonny's POV. I'm a pro- SEXIS gal, so you've been warned.  
  
FINAL NOTE: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE I MADE A BOO BOO AND STRAYED FROM 1ST PERSON, WHICH I'M SURE I DID ;) !!  
~~~~~~  
  
--STORMS--  
  
We were standing in the foyer of the Harborview Towers. Sonny slipped the doorman a hundred dollar bill so he would leave us alone. The doorman happily obliged.  
  
"Why are you leaving?" Sonny stared at me.   
  
I turn my head and look outside as if it would give me the strength I need, but all I see is gloom. The rain was pouring, casting her shadow on the city of Port Charles, and like a foreshadow of the conversation she was about to have with Sonny.   
  
She turned to him once again. "Sonny, not everything is about you. I have no reason to stay." I said, looking him straight in the face. "I only came here for Stephan and he's gone. Nicholas is in no need for his Aunt Alexis to meddle in his affairs either. He's all grown up. I have no reason to stick around anymore."   
  
I can't do this as well as I thought I could. I look away. I'm lying to him as much as I am lying to myself. Can he see it? Who said that I was such a lousy liar for a lawyer? Maybe I can take lessons from Carly.  
  
From his reaction, my words stung him. Mission successful, Miss Davis. You've managed to lie to him and make him believe you. And you've hurt him in the process. I didn't want to hurt you, Sonny. I wish things didn't have to be like this...  
  
At that moment he wanted to say so much to me, but didn't. I saw it in his eyes. I almost wanted him to beg and plead with me to stay. To say that he needed me....my legal expertise that is. Oh, who am I kidding? I want him to tell me that I mean to much to him and he doesn't want to lose me, and he loves me, not Carly. Of course this will never happen. Only in my fantasy world, only in my dreams.  
  
No, we could never work. The mobster and the lawyer was not a fairytale romance, and certainly not Cinderella and her Prince Charming or Romeo and Juliet. But I never considered myself one to base my self worth on the man I was with, and never needed anyone. Perhaps that's what Sonny sees in her...The young girl who consistently needs rescuing. I'm too far independent and self sufficient for him. I have to leave to protect myself, and my child. The Little One and I will be fine. On our own.  
  
  
I love Sonny. Circumstances prevent us from being together and I have to accept that. He won't change. He and his business practices go hand and hand. I could never have the man without his career. I'm not sure if I'd want him if he were any different. Perhaps that is what attracted me to him in the first place. His dark side, and the danger that came along with him were exciting. I love him for the good in him, the compassionate, caring man he is.  
  
But life can never be simple, and sometimes love just isn't enough. Especially, since he's in love with another woman. I'm happy for him and I hope she never hurts again. I only want his happiness.  
~~  
  
It's only a dream  
Outside the rain  
And the heart skips a beat  
So you're lonely  
Creature of the night  
It's been almost a week  
Can you love me only  
Look at me, for a very long time  
Long enough to know  
Love is a word - I've been trying to find  
Words don't matter  
They don't matter at all  
Maybe it's only a dream  
I don't want to feel that  
Well it's one more link - in the chain  
I don't believe that  
So you're still lonely  
You say that it's been forever  
Maybe you never knew me -  
Maybe you thought that  
I'd never change - but  
You know I'm changing  
- You're wrong -  
And it's been like dying -  
No love's that hard to find -  
And I'm tired of -  
I'm tired of trying  
Outside the rain  
And the heart skips a beat  
So you're lonely  
Look in my eyes  
Touch my face  
Baby, there's no one  
That can take my place  
Look in my eyes, touch my face  
Baby there's no one that  
Can ever replace that - heartache  
Take away that heartache  
Love is a word that some entertain  
If you find it  
You have won the game  
Somebody said  
"Outside the rain..."  
  
~~~~  
  
  
She's leaving me. She's walking out of my life. I never expected this. I never saw it coming. I realize that I've always taken her for granted. First she tells me she's moving out at the end of the month. Then she tells me to find another attorney, but ignore this because I cannot fathom that she will not be in my life in that capacity. Then she tells me she's moving back to New York and returning to her old job. I cannot fathom not having her in my life in any capacity.  
  
And what do I do? I do nothing to stop her, even though every fiber in my being wants me to tell her not to go. Why? I ask myself that every moment. She's safer the farther away she is from me. Especially now. I didn't even tell her what was going on when she asked. I wanted to, but it would only put her in jeopardy. The less she knows, the better. I can only pray that no harm comes to her because of me. I pray that no one will use her to get to me because they think she knows something, or that they 'll use her because they know I care about her.  
  
I love her. I do. Why can't I tell her? Why do I have to live this lie? I only went back to Carly because I felt obligated to. We only have a physical relationship, and nothing more. We don't have even an ounce of the connection Alexis and I share. We don't have the trust. I can't trust Carly, not completely. I never have been able to, nor will I ever. But still, I let my lawyer, best friend, confidante and the love of my life walk out of my life. I owe her this much. For once I cannot be selfish. She is better off without me, and deep down she knows this as well.  
  
"Goodbye, Sonny."  
  
I walk over to her, and cup her face in my hands. She has tears in her eyes. I wipe them away gently with my fingers. I don't know if I can do this.   
  
She shakes her head, pleading with her eyes not to make this so difficult for her.  
  
My lips gently brush hers, and she pulls away from me.  
  
"Goodbye, Alexis." I say, as she walks out into the rain. "Be careful." I whisper.  
  
~~~~  
  
FEEDBACK: Constructive criticism welcome. Sexis bashers are not, not that the comments would matter anyway. Thanks. 


End file.
